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Sunday, August 7, 2011

Bed Rest - Day 38

Today wasn't really a good day for me. And for no particular reason at all. I was awoken at 3:30 this morning to a loud bang in the nursery. For some reason, I had a feeling it was at least one of the letters falling off the wall. That's the only thing that could fall in the nursery. So I got up, and lo-and-behold, 2 of the 4 letters fell off the wall because the 3M Command hooks didn't stick well enough to the wall. And it actually took some of the paint off the wall, so I was really upset over that. I took down the remaining 2 letters, and climbed back into bed.

And I couldn't fall asleep. I was really upset over the letters, because I really wanted the sticky hooks to work. I really didn't want to have to put holes in the wall, but I guess that's what we'll have to do now. Luckily, I had the back of the crib about 5 inches away from the wall, in the event they did fall, they wouldn't fall into the crib, or damage the wood. I guess nails it will be.

I finally fell back to sleep about 5:30-6am, and woke back up at 8:30 to go to the bathroom. Matt had just been up to use the bathroom too, so the dogs were anxiously waiting for us to feed them right outside the nursery door. I tell them to lay down, and turn to open the bathroom door. I look down, and notice that right next to the floor, some of the paper from the wall is peeled up and there is a decent sized hole in the sheet rock. Commence me crying. I knew Tyson did this, because he's pulled the drywall paper up off the wall in the kitchen before, which the contractors repaired. But he's never eaten a hole in the drywall. I was so upset and mad at him. I decided to feed and let them out, so they would calm down, and let us sleep longer.

While they were eating, I went back into the bedroom and sat on my side of the bed and just sobbed. Matt woke up, asked what was wrong, and I told him. He tried to calm me down, but I was just so upset. I let the dogs out, let them back in, and then crawled into bed and cried while Matt held me. It's such a silly reason to cry, but everything was finally repaired throughout the apartment, and now there was an imperfection. Needless to say, we didn't fall back to sleep, and got up around 9:15.

I still felt really emotional, as I have been the last few days. You think I'd be the happiest person in the world, as the construction was done, and Cael's nursery was finished. But for some reason, I still feel sad and just want to cry. After eating breakfast, I decided to take the 2 remaining sticky hooks off the wall in the nursery. I pulled the crib out so I could get behind it, and wouldn't you know, the corner of the crib rubbed against the border. I was hoping it wouldn't leave a mark, but when I pulled the crib away, there was a mark there. I was just a wreck at this point. I took the two hooks down, threw out the sticky backing, and climbed into bed and just sobbed - without Matt knowing.

He eventually came in to see what was wrong. I didn't want to tell him about the wall, but I eventually did, and when I did, my sobbing turned into hysterics, where I couldn't catch my breath. Why? All because of a little imperfection on the border. And who knows why else. He just held me, and let me cry. He asked me if I wanted my left over Pizza Uno, and I did. He told me to take a nap, because I probably needed it from not sleeping well, and he'd wake me up when it was done. Surprisingly, I managed to calm down, and actually fell asleep.

I was hoping Matt would hang the window trim and curtain rods today, but it's not looking like it will happen, and I can't say I blame him. He's been working so hard, taking care of me for the last 5 weeks or so, and then working so hard on the nursery. He just wants a day off, and that's fine with me. It makes me want to cry, because I just want it all finished so I can take pictures and share them, but he really hasn't had a day off to do nothing, and he deserves that. He said we can put the car seat in the truck soon, so we'll be doing that. And maybe I'll whip out the paint, touch-up the walls, hang some nails and the letters, and apply the wall appliques. I think if all that gets done today, I'll be ok and happy. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel better, but I'm not expecting it. It just feels like I'm getting more and more upset with little things, and just crying for no reason as each day goes by. But we will see. Maybe the increase in being emotional means Cael is coming soon? I have no idea.

:::I love you Cael, and can't wait to hold you:::

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