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Saturday, January 29, 2011

9 Weeks!

As each week passes, I am more and more grateful for being pregnant a week longer than the last. And honestly, it feels like every week is flying by. Maybe because I live for the weekend? I think my morning sickness is pretty much starting to subside. I haven't been really nauseous at all the last few days, which is great because I feel like a human being. I'm still tired, but I don't expect that to really change any time soon.

I go down to Long Island next weekend, and I'm excited. I think I'm starting to get a little belly bump (you can see it starting to "fill in" below my little bulge that I had pre-pregnancy), and I'm so excited to show my mom. Also, we're having a cousins get-together, so that will be the perfect time to tell the rest of the family and "come out". We have our official OB appointment on Thursday, where we'll get to hear the heart beat, and I get poked and prodded. So if everything goes well with that appointment, I will then tell the cousins and rest of the family. I'm so excited for that appointment, and am hoping for the best. I'll be 9 weeks 5 days, so hopefully the midwife can pick up the baby's heart beat with the Doppler. But she said at the last appointment if she can't find the heart beat, then they'll do an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok. I'm happy for that piece of mind if we can't hear it. I just hope she meant doing an ultrasound on the same day.

I think I recall saying this last weekend, but I have a lot of chores to do. I should go food shopping, I have to go to Walmart, and I have to go to the Fed-Ex store to ship Matt's broken phone back to Verizon. Not to mention fold laundry, clean the counters and vacuum. I guess my chores will only become greater in number the further along I get, and when we have our precious baby. Oh yea - did I mention that I'm typing this from my bed? Well, I am. I feel too lazy to get up yet. :)

:::keep growing, baby:::

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I Live For The Weekends Now

I am so exhausted, I just want to sleep for literally 24 hours strait. I'm noticing myself hoping that the weekdays go by quickly so that the weekend arrives..just so I could lay around and relax. The apartment has seriously become a mess because I have neither the energy nor the motivation to do anything. I just want to sleep. This baby is sucking the energy and life out of me :). But that's ok. It needs to continue growing, so it's fine with me. Here's a sneak peak into my ute, at our Little One, from today at 8 weeks 5 days. It's heart rate was 171, and it even wiggled around during the scan. I am so much in love, there are no words. (Head is to the right, body to the left. Yolk sac is all the way to the left, especially in the bottom picture).

Currently, I am having a massive craving for Velveeta Macaroni & Cheese. I'm really tempted to run out to the store to buy some. Actually, I think I might. The store is literally 2 miles away, so why not, right!? Mmmmm. It sounds so good. I'm also waiting for my Wii controller to charge. Matt got me Epic Mickey for my birthday, and I finally whipped it out tonight to play it, and I have a dead controller. Totally made me upset. So I could kill time by going out to the store (Yes, in my PJ's) and getting Velveeta. It just might make my night. :)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Darn You, Round Ligaments!

So let the round ligament pain commence! Or so I think it is. I've been having cramping twinges in my pelvis, mainly on my right side. A co-worker at work today said that it's most likely round ligament pain. Yay! Grow uterus, grow! Today was also the first day in 2 weeks that I've felt human. I haven't really felt nauseous today, and didn't throw up. Yay! We shall see what tomorrow brings. Other than throbbing feet and being exhausted, I'm feeling pretty good. For now :)
:::Grow baby, grow:::

Sunday, January 23, 2011

"Only My Son Would Make You That Sick!"

Is what my husband tells me as I'm hugging the toilet bowl last night. I was mid-sentence at the kitchen sink when I felt it coming. I immediately stopped what I was saying, and made a mad dash to the bathroom. Fortunately, I made it in time. In comes Matt, saying "What the hell happened!? Are you ok?". I really don't know what happened. I was fine a second before. Then all of a sudden :::blahh:::. He then tells me that it has to be a boy, because only his son would put me through the hell and sickness I went through that day. Earlier, I felt cramping, which I chalked up to my uterus growing. Then, I had the worst pain shooting through my right boob. The worst boob-pain I've ever felt, and it brought me to tears. And ice pack helped with the pain. Matt chimes in, "Maybe it's your milk duct things growing." He's so cute when he tries to make me feel better. Then the sudden throwing-up happened. I called it a night after that. I think (hopefully) I only have 6 more weeks of this "fun" to go. Please let it be only that much time left.
:::I love you, baby:::

Saturday, January 22, 2011

8 Weeks Today!!

I can't believe I've made it this far! I am so excited and relieved. Baby is now the size of a raspberry. My morning sickness hasn't been too bad lately. Other than yesterday (which was horrible), the last time I got sick was last weekend. I got so sick yesterday that I was dry-heaving hard, and was in pain after. Not to mention I got so dizzy after when I came out of the bathroom (at work). One of the nurses peeked her head out of her office (apparently the running water didn't mask my vomiting) to see if I was ok, and then she led me into the recovery room to lay down. After that (apparently a lot of my co-workers heard me - how embarrassing!) every nurse I work with came in to check on me, and even the 3 surgeons I work with checked on me. Eventually, I started feeling better, and thankfully it was the end of the day, so I was able to leave shortly after.

I have so much to do today, because the last 2 weeks I've been laying around due to not feeling good. I have to vacuum, do the dishes, fold the laundry, go food shopping, and drive 45 minutes away to get dog food and sugar glider food. Our lab, Killian, needs a special food for this allergies and skin, so I have to go to PetSmart for that. I guess I need to get moving, huh?

Saturday, January 15, 2011

7 Weeks Today!!

I am so happy that I reached this milestone! My baby is now the size of a blueberry! So cute. I can't wait until Matt and I go to our next appointment on February 3rd to hear the heartbeat. I'll be 9 weeks 5 days then. Just wanted to brag :) Oh yea, here is a picture of my 7 week "belly". Nothing too exciting yet, considering I've lost 3 pounds from throwing up everything I eat from the morning sickness.
:::Keep sticking, baby:::

Friday, January 14, 2011

I Miss You So Much

Dear Grandma,

I miss you so much, and wish you were still with us. I can't believe that today marks 7 years that you've been gone. You were my rock, and made everything good again. I loved spending time with you, and my sleepovers where we would say the Lord's Prayer together when you tucked me into bed. I miss helping you with your crafts, and going with you to antique stores and craft fairs. I miss everything so terribly. I hope you are better wherever you are, and I'm sure you're watching over my little Johnny Appleseed. I can see you and grandpa cradling my little baby, who never had a chance on this Earth. But now I am pregnant again, and I wish you were here for me through this pregnancy. I wish you would be able to hold your sweet great-grandchild - which would be your first great-grandchild. I know you would spoil him/her rotten, like you did me. I miss our Sunday morning trips to church, where we would get McDonald's breakfast after and bring it home to grandpa. I'm sad to admit it, but you are probably already aware, that I'm not religious anymore. I don't pray, I don't go to church, and I get very uncomfortable with any idea of religion. Sadly, that has been since you've been gone. I refuse to believe that any God would allow you to suffer the way you did. I watched you go from a lively, fun humorous women, to a worn out, tired and blind woman. Towards the end, your Lymphoma spread to your brain, which made you seem unlike yourself. Although you just laid there on bed in your living room, unresponsive and seemingly unconscious, I knew you could hear us. That's why I told you "I love you" one last time and gave you a hug, for fear that I wouldn't see you again. I'm glad I did, because only a few days later you were gone.

I'll never forget that day, grandma. I came home from school, and knew something was wrong. You had passed that morning while I was in school, but mom didn't take me out of school. She let me come home, and do my normal routine before giving any inkling that something was up. She told me she wanted to talk to me, and I knew, but I did everything I could to delay our talk. She came into my bedroom, and sat on my bed, and told me she really needed to talk to me. She then told me that you passed away. I could hear the words, but they weren't processing in my brain. I knew you were sick and wouldn't be around much longer. But no matter how long you know someone is sick for, you're never prepared for when they actually pass away. I was hysterically crying holding onto mom, and then started hyperventilating. I ended up having one of my bad anxiety attacks. My mom calmed me down. I couldn't believe you were gone. But I knew you were better . You weren't suffering anymore. You had all your hair back. You were able to see again. And you weren't in pain anymore.

I still wish you were here. I miss you so much. But I know you, grandpa and dad are watching over me and the rest of the family. Until we meet again. I love you, and miss you beyond words.

Your granddaughter

I Love You, B6!

So thankfully the B6 vitamin that my midwife told me to take prior to each meal is keeping my food down, and my nausea at bay. I still get nauseous here and there, but definitely not what it was like. I'm starting to think that maybe I had a stomach bug? But who knows. I didn't have any stomach pains, cramping or diarrhea that would go along with a stomach virus, so maybe it was bad morning sickness for a few days, and the B6 really is helping. Either way, although I still occasionally feel sick, I'm happy that I'm not as sick as I was. :::Keep growing:::

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Pretzels, Saltines And Bagels, Oh My!!

Can we say morning sickness? It has definitely started, and full on nonetheless! It started Sunday, and hasn't really let up. I was so nauseous yesterday, it took everything I had to not throw up. So because of this lovely morning sickness, my diet has consisted of saltines, pretzels and plain bagels. Weight loss - here I come! Today is a little better. I'm not as nauseous, but I feel like I've been run over by a Mack truck.

On a happy note, I'm 6 weeks 3 days today! I can't believe I've made it this far, yet I have so much further to go. Baby steps.
:::Keep growing, little one. Mommy loves you:::
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Friday, January 7, 2011

Lub Dub-Lub Dub

We have a heartbeat!!! We went for our ultrasound yesterday afternoon to check for a heartbeat, and we saw the precious little flutter. I measured exactly 5 weeks 5 days - which is where FertilityFriend put me at, and the heartbeat varied from 123 bpm to 104 bpm because it was difficult to get a hb on the baby because it was so small. It measured 2 mm long! Yes, 2 millimeters long! It's amazing that something that small has a heartbeat already. Absolutely incredible and a miracle.

We go back in 4 weeks, on February 3rd to hear the heartbeat and to have my first official OB visit. My midwife said that if she can't find it, then we'll do a quick ultrasound to check. Then I go back a week and a half from then (so 6.5 weeks from now) for the Nuchal Translucency test. I will be about 11.5 weeks then. I'm so happy and excited. It's such a huge weight that has been lifted off my shoulders. I know we're not out of the woods yet, but we're better off than we were last pregnany. :::I love you, little one:::

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Nervous As Hell

I have exactly 1 hour until my ultrasound, and I can't stop the shaking. The shaking that starts in your heart, then works its way down to your stomach. The shaking that is created by adrenaline. Yes, that shaking. I'm so excited, and have been waiting for 2 weeks (Yes, 2 weeks! A small amount of time, really, when you compare it to the whole) for this appointment, but I am just so scared. What if the sac isn't there anymore? Although I know this is irrational, as I haven't had any cramping or bleeding that would cause the sac to not be there anymore. What if we don't see an embryo? We should definitely see a fetal pole by now. I know we should. A heartbeat? Maybe. But I know that I'm only 5 weeks 5 days, and there may be a chance of seeing a fetal pole, but no heartbeat. I know that, and am fully prepared for that. I think, anyway. I guess I'm just experiencing every emotion wrapped up into one.

I'm so happy that Matt is coming too. He should be here in 45 minutes. He's meeting me at work, and then we'll walk over to the office together. Then after my visit, I'm going strait down to Long Island to see my family. I haven't seen them since Thanksgiving, and I hope I have some good news and pictures to give them when I get down there tonight. Please be a heartbeat. Please. If the news isn't good, I don't know if I'll be able to drive to LI tonight. I don't know if Matt would let me drive to LI tonight if we got bad news. I would be a wreck. But we're not going to get bad news. We're only going to get good news. I have a feeling this is the pregnancy. I will post an update either tonight or tomorrow. I hope my ultrasound and appointment with the midwife goes well. I have a ton of questions written down to ask her. So..until then.

:::Keep growing baby. Keep growing:::

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

T-Minus 2 Days

In exactly 2 days, I will be going for my ultrasound to check for a heartbeat. I'm so excited, nervous, scared, happy and terrified, all wrapped into one little Joanne taco. I'm really hoping that we see our little "cheese stick" (a nickname my co-worker gave my little one based on the fact that I've been craving cheese sticks lately) and its heartbeat. I've been so exhausted today, and my nausea started 2 days ago. But these symptoms are all welcomed because I take it as a sign that the baby is growing.:::grow baby, grow!:::
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Sunday, January 2, 2011

I've Made It Through 5 Weeks 1 Day

By this time last pregnancy, I was in the process of miscarrying. Not today. Tomorrow I will be 5 weeks 2 days, and by my standards, I would have reached an important milestone in this pregnancy. I know I'm far from being out of the woods because I'm still so early, but getting this far is a plus for me. In the words of someone from the bump, "Today I am pregnant, and I love my baby." :::keep sticking baby:::
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Saturday, January 1, 2011

Getting Too Excited And Ahead Of Myself?

I know I'm still early, and tomorrow I will be 5 weeks 1 day - the same gestational age I was when I miscarried in September, but I can't help but feel different this time around. Last pregnancy I was definitely naive, thinking that miscarriage can't happen to me. Well it did. I don't know why I felt I was exempt from that heartache. Wishful, naive thinking maybe. Anyway, this time it's different, I know it is. So I can't help but look at baby stuff online. I'll admit it - I have been looking at nursery furniture and bedding for the last week. I found a few sets I really like. And I can't believe how expensive some sets are! Here are a few of the nursery sets I really love. I think I want either the oak or white color.

Hello 2011!

This is the year (hopefully) that Matt and I become parents. I'm so excited and happy! Also, today marks 5 weeks for me! I'm almost past the first hurdle - getting past 5 weeks 1 day. Sunday, I will be really relieved, but will then be looking forward to each milestone I get to. I can't wait to see you on ultrasound, see my belly grow, feel you in my belly, get swollen feet, become uncomfortable from being so huge, and finally meet you, my little one. Keep growing and sticking!!