24 Weeks Old!

I love the way Cael laughs, and smiles at me. He is just Mr. Personality these days. He can now sit for long periods of time, unassisted, without falling over. And if he starts to lean or fall back, he's usually able to correct himself. Because of this, I've started sitting him up in the bath, too. He loves it, because he can play with all his floating bath toys. I'm sure he'll be splashing soon enough!

I think we've gotten to the point where we will be leaving the infant car seat in the car, and carrying Cael to the car. I know he is slightly lacking in the weight department, but the car seat with Cael in it has become too heavy for me to be lugging to and from the car. Add to that the heavy diaper bag on my shoulder, and I am struggling. I love our infant car seat, and we're not ready for a convertible seat yet, so this is the best solution. We don't have a regular stroller yet, so we'll continue to use the Snap'N'Go stroller. I think I can manage to hoist the seat in and out of the car to snap it into the stroller frame. When we get rid of the infant car seat, we'll have to buy a stroller. Preferably the City Mini.

A friend of mine gave me a Sassy mesh eater-thing that you can put fresh fruit and veggies in, and they can mush and eat it through the mesh holder. We used it for the first time yesterday, but with ice cubes in it (obviously, because we haven't started solids yet). He seemed to like it, but after 10 minutes he seemed done with it. We'll have to try it again. I can't wait to see how he reacts to it when he starts eating fruits and veggies.

We started Cael on rice cereal again on Valentine's Day. So that's 6 days ago. So far, no rash. I'm so happy it wasn't the rice cereal giving him a rash. He LOVES his rice cereal. I started it out kind of watery at first, and now I'm making it a little thicker. It's so cute, because he now opens his mouth for the spoon, and cries when it's all gone. We'll probably be starting fruits and veggies in a few weeks, after his 6 month appointment. After going back and forth between Baby-Led Weaning and pureed baby food, I think the best option for us will be the pureed food. Of course I'm going to ask the pediatrician's opinion about it, but I have a feeling he will favor the puree's, since it's the most common option.

Tonight is also the 6th night that we've been using the AngelCare monitor. So far, no false alarms, and I'm sleeping sounder. Well, sleeping better not worrying about him, anyway. He's been getting up twice a night to eat, and then up for the day anywhere between 6:30am and 7:30am. Last night, he was up from 1:45am to 3:30am, fussing. He just would not go to sleep no matter what. So we went into the living room, as to not wake Matt, put him into the walker, and turned on Nick Jr. Hopefully he gets past this phase quickly, because I'm exhausted. And I'm going to (hopefully) need all the sleep I can get.

I had a job interview this past Thursday. I think it went really well, and I'm actually excited to (hopefully) start working again. It's for a per diem position, but it's better than nothing. The lady that interviewed me said that she had some other candidates to interview, but to not get discouraged by that, because she'll probably have to hire more than one person to get the coverage she needs. It works for me. One of the perks is that the hospital is 2 miles away from our house, which is an amazingly small commute compared to what I was driving to work. Hopefully I'll hear sometime this week, one way or another.

Cael Is Sick :(

We were supposed to take Cael to the pediatrician tomorrow for a well visit weight check, but I couldn't wait that long. On Sunday night, I noticed that Cael's left eye was looking a little watery, and slightly pink. But there was no discharge, or swelling. So I decided to wait it out, and see what came of it. Then on Monday, he started coughing, and I noticed some gunk, or discharge, forming in his left eye. I knew he had pink eye, and it was time to call the doctor. Especially with the coughing. I was afraid he would get congested like me. By that time on Monday, though, it was too late to call. So I called first thing in the morning yesterday (Tuesday), and they got me an appointment for 1:00. They would weigh him then, instead of having to return again Thursday.

As it turns out, Cael does have pink eye in his left eye, and to my surprise and guilt, otitis media of his left ear. He had gotten his first ear infection. I was shocked when he said that, because I wasn't expecting that. I felt so bad, because I had no idea how long he had it for. He had been cranky and sleeping poorly at night, and now it all makes sense. He was in pain. :( So I have to give hims Amoxicillin ("Bubble Gum medicine" as I used to call it) for the ear infection, and Erythromycin antibiotic eye ointment for the pink eye. My poor Little Man.

Now onto his weight. He weighed in at 14 pounds 6 ounces. He's in the same percentile as he was last time, and gained only 15 ounces over the last month. That's 1/2 ounce a day, and the pediatrician said he should be gaining 1 ounce a day. Now, regarding the percentiles. It turns out he's actually not in the 5th percentile, but instead just below the 25th percentile. They never told me the actual percentile at the last appointment; only that he had dropped off his curve. I had said he was in the 5th percentile, because the app on my phone put his weight at the 5th percentile. It had given me accurate percentiles (compared to the pediatrican) from the time he was born, until 2 months, so I assumed it would continue to be accurate. So I guess he's not in the 5th percentile, but just under the 25th. It's not as big a drop as I thought, so I don't know why the pediatrician is so concerned. He looks healthy, and his length is keeping up on the charts.

So anyway, I told the pediatrician about my supply issue, and that was probably why Cael was having problems eating around 4 months old. I told him that I felt I corrected it with supplements and pumping. He then looked at the chart and saw his weight, and he replied with, "Uhh..are you sure you did?" I felt like complete crap after that comment, but I know that wasn't the intention of the pediatrician. (But this morning, I pumped 5.5 ounces combined in one session, so I know my supply is coming back up.) As I was getting Cael dressed, I flat out asked him if he was concerned about his weight. He immediately replied with a hesitant, as to not upset me, "Yea." I started crying right there, and he tried to reassure me that sometimes babies just take some time to gain, and that the cereal should help put some weight on him. He also said that he looks great, and that he'll be fine, but I couldn't help but feel like a horrible mother. He goes back next month for his 6 month appointment/shots, and for another weight check. Hopefully the cereal does help him gain some weight by then.

We started the rice cereal again last night as a test to see if he's really allergic, or if that rash was just a fluke. If he does get a rash, we'll stop the rice cereal, and give him either oatmeal cereal or cream of wheat.

In light of another Sweet Pea unexpectedly passing away due to SIDS, I bought a new monitor. We needed a new one anyway, but I never thought I'd get the one I did. I went and spent $300 on it, but it's a movement, sound and video monitor. It's the AngelCare Deluxe movement, video and sound monitor. The whole enchilada. I needed the security that I'm doing everything possible to keep my son safe, even if it meant spending an insane amount of money on a baby monitor. It has the sensor for under the mattress, which detects if the slightest movement, such as breathing, stops. I'm pleasantly impressed with it, and shocked that it detects Cael's subtle breathing movements. There's a pendant that moves on the touch, color screen that lets you know he's moving/breathing. It also has a 2 way speaker so I can talk to him, and monitors the temperature in his room. It will alert you if the temperature gets too high or low. I put the monitor on our Babies R' Us credit card because we didn't have the money to spend on it, but I had absolutely no buyers remorse after purchasing it. I love it, and love that I can see him sleeping on the monitor. Definitely the greatest investment yet.

In other news, I have a job interview tomorrow! It's for a per diem general ultrasound position at a hospital 2 miles away from me. It's the perfect location, being so close to home. If I'm going to work per diem and use childcare (almost impossible to get per diem child care at a daycare), there are only certain days I can work. My friend S can watch Cael on Wednesday's and Friday's, and Matt can watch him on Thursday's, up until November. And then there are Saturday evenings and Sunday's until 4. Hopefully we can work out a schedule for me. I'm feeling a while slew of emotions: I'm happy, nervous, excited and sad. My last official job interview was for a grocery store, so I feel like I may mess up on some answers to questions. Plus, I haven't performed a general ultrasound study in about a year and half. I hope that's not a deciding factor. I'm nervous about scanning general studies, but I'm confident that after a few days, it will all come back to me - like riding a bike. I hope, anyway.

Happy First Valentine's Day!

It's Cael's first Valentine's Day today, so I decided to, once again, attempt to take themed photos. I'm very excited about these, and I think they came out great! Matt said they do look professional-ish (my term, not his), so I was happy to hear that. This little boy has my entire heart, and I love him so much.

We've Lost Another Sweet Pea

Another Sweet Pea passed away yesterday, at 5.5 months old. He was found blue and unresponsive during his nap at daycare. I just can't believe this has happened to our group again. We've lost 2 babies within one month; both at daycare; and both while napping. We're a large group of women, but I don't think large enough to have the odds that much against us. It's just not fair. I was looking through all his pictures on Facebook, and he was such a happy baby. Always smiling. This is just not right. I can't even imagine. Just when I started feeling better about Cael sleeping in his crib, and keeping my anxiety down during naps. I'm just in shock. That's 3 babies in 4 months that we lost. Baby D, Baby Z and now Baby E. I hope they're all playing together, watching down on their Mommy's and Daddy's.

May you rest in peach, Baby E. You were taken too soon.

23 Weeks

5 Months Old!!

(And also 22 weeks old)

I'm writing this a little late in the week, but better late than never is what I always say. At 5 months old, Cael has been developing by leaps and bounds! I previously thought that he was interested in the world around him, and thought his excitement of all things around him was amazing. But this past week, he has amazed me even further (which I'm starting to realize will continually happen). Even more than before, he is reaching for EVERYTHING! But with both hands now. He realized that he can reach and grab for things by using both hands, and bringing them together. He started doing that early this week. He's getting quick too! Plates of food, mugs of hot tea, pens, wires, his toys, blankets. Everything. He just wants to grab it and put it in his mouth. His fine motor skills are developing nicely, too. He is now able to pick up his pacifier from wherever it is, and if it's not oriented correctly, turn it around, and put it in his mouth. It's just incredible how much he's developing, and how quickly.

His weight, on the other hand, is still staggering. I weighed him naked yesterday (February 10), and he weighed exactly 14 pounds. A little over a week ago on the 1st, he weighed 14.3 pounds. I used an app on my phone to track diapers and feedings (yes, still), and it has a growth chart in it. It's been pretty accurate compared to the pediatrician's chart. He moved up a little on the chart last week, but now that he's at an even 14 pounds, he's at the 5th percentile again. I was having a major loss in my milk supply, but that did get better with the pumping and supplements. So I know he is getting more milk than previously. He goes to the pediatrician next Thursday for a weight check, so I'm anxious to see how much he officially weighs, and what percentile he falls into. He was supposed to go this past Thursday, but we couldn't make it for reasons I'll get into later.

As of Monday, Cael started doing something that I absolutely adore. He reaches for me now. I LOVE this so much. It let's me know he loves me, needs me and wants me. As selfish as this sounds, I almost need this. We've been down on Long Island since Thursday the 2nd visiting my mom, and on Monday, we visited a bunch of people. One of them was Cael's great-grandpa from Matt's side. As soon as I handed Cael to him, he started screaming for me, and looking around for me. When he saw me, he actually turned his body towards me, and reached both arms out towards me. He then slightly threw his weight forward, as to lunge for me. Since then, he lunges even more. This brings me to the other thing he started doing this past week. Since the moment we came to LI, Cael became a Stage 5 Clinger. He didn't want anyone other than myself to hold him. And if they did, he would scream bloody murder, and reach for me. Especially when my mom held him, and I saw she was "hurt" by it. We kept joking that we'd put a frame around mom's face, like Skype. But finally, after a week, he did get used to mom. I was afraid it was a phase he was going through, and that he wouldn't go to Matt when we got home. But it was just because we were in a new place.

Now onto the reason that we had to miss Cael's appointment. We were supposed to go back this past Wednesday (3 days ago), but as of late Monday night/early Tuesday morning, I developed a fever. I had a headache all day Monday, and was tired, but thought it was from being out since 10 Monday morning, and running all over the place. Apparently not. I had aches, pains, chills and was freezing. Then 2 days later, on Wednesday, I got a sore throat and stuffy /tunny nose. This happened last time I was on Long Island. As soon as I got home from that trip, I got a fever, sore throat and stuffy nose. However, this time was slightly different. On Thursday afternoon, after Cael and I woke up from a nap, I noticed I had a crusty eyebooger in the inside corner of my left eye. Well, long story short, I had pink eye. Yes, for the first time since elementary school, I had pink eye. By the end of the day, i had pink eye in both eyes. My fever also broke that morning, so I though I would be going home Friday. But after telling Matt, he said to stay longer if I needed too, that he didn't want to get sick. So another few days I was a staying.

Then on Friday morning, Cael developed a fever of 101.3. With swollen, painful eyes (but no fever!), I gave Cael infant Tylenol. It worked wonders, and he was feeling himself shortly after. But it was a pajama day for him, that's for sure. His fever only lasted for yesterday, and this morning, the swelling mess that was my left eye was all better! It was still a little red, but no more gunk. My right eye was still a little gunky and definitely swollen, but as the day wore on, the swelling went away. Currently, as I write this, my eyes feel about 95% better, and Cael and I are going home tomorrow.I cant wait to see Matt, and for Matt to see all the new things Cael can do now.

There's some speculation as to where I got the pink eye from. My siblings joked that someone farted in my face; my mom says it's because I change Cael's poopy diapers; and I say it's from when we went to the park. Who the heck knows where it came from, as long as it's going away now. AND, I hope we've taken all the precautions so that Cael doesn't get it. I think it went away so quickly because I immediately started using CVS brand Pink Eye Drops. They work wonders!

As I just mentioned, we went to the park on Tuesday. I had gone a few hours without a fever or chills, so mom suggested getting outside for a little while. It wasn't too cold out, so I suggested going to the park with Cael. This would be his first time, so I was excited, and needed to get pictures of this (of course). I sat on a swing with Cael, put him in a baby swing and pushed him, and went down the slide with him. Mom and I got a bunch of pictures and videos, so I'm happy about that. We had fun, came home, and then I felt exhausted and run down. Cael and I relaxed for the rest of the day.

Finally, we started rice cereal on the day he turned 5 months old. He loved it!! And he did so well with eating it too, and didn't make a big mess like I thought he would. However, after 2 days of rice cereal, Cael broke out with a rash on his cheeks and chin. I called the pediatrician, and it turns out he is most likely allergic to the rice cereal. We were told to stop it for a week, and then we can try again. If he gets a rash again, then it's the rice cereal. He'll have to be fed oatmeal cereal then, and we'll have to see how he does with that. I'll see if we'll try the cereal again on Monday or Tuesday.

Shopping Big-Boy Style

So I've seen some recent pictures of babies Cael's age (from my Sweet Pea group) who have sat like a big boy or big girl in the front of the cart. So I figured since Cael has been sitting good on his own on the floor, he should be ok sitting in the cart. I figured I would try it out when I went to Walmart to go food shopping. Normally I would wear Cael in my Moby Wrap, which has been very helpful. It frees up valuable cart space by not putting his car seat in the basket part, and it frees my hands because I don't have to hold him in my arms.

I was a little nervous at first, because I didn't bring my Moby as a back-up. I was worried that he wouldn't sit, or that he wouldn't like it and start screaming and crying. And I became even more nervous when I opened up the back door of the Jeep at Walmart, and found him sleeping. I thought, "Great! Now what do I do?" I thought for a second to just forego the cart, and leave him in the car seat. But I knew once I moved the car seat, he'd wake up anyway. So I decided to start unbuckling the car seat straps, and slowly trying to wake him up. Luckily, he woke up in a happy mood, despite not taking a good nap yet at that point. I had already put the cart protector thiny (don't know what it's called) on the cart, so I just sat him in the seat part, and strapped him in.

He loved it! He loved looking around at everything, and was so well behaved. He didn't make one peep, and I loved how he would smile at me when I made goofy faces at him. Towards the end of my shopping trip, I could tell he was getting tired. He had that glassy look to his eyes, and they were red around his eyelids. He wasn't fussing, but I could tell he was on his way to dozing off. I decided to see if he would want to lay down in the seat part, and if he would even fit. So I took him out, and laid him down in the seat part. He whined a little, but only until I started moving. He held onto Sophie the Giraffe, and quickly fell asleep. He was so.stinken.cute! Very angelic. So overall, it was a successful and pleasant shopping trip. Much easier, too, with not having to worry about wrapping the Moby around me first. I have to admit, I am saddened that he is old enough to sit in the big-boy seat. He is growing right before my very eyes.

21 Weeks Old!

At 21 weeks old, Cael wants to "eat" and grab everything in his sight. He's very adventurous, and interested in everything. If I have him in my lap while I'm eating or drinking, he'll reach for my food or my glass. He also needs to keep moving, more than even before. He's definitely developing and growing more each day.

I think my supply is starting to get better. Slowly. I get about 2 ounces combined from both breasts now at one pumping session. Plus, Cael seems to be more satisfied after eating, and is taking more gulps at the breast. I've increased my water intake, which has helped, and I'm waiting for some supplements in the mail. A kind and generous mom from the September Sweet Pea group had some left over More Milk Plus and Fenugreek, so she mailed them to me. I should be getting them on Tuesday, and I'm looking forward to taking them. Hopefully it will boost my supply to what it used to be (4-5 ounces in one pumping session). I'm pumping about 4-5 times a day, so I'm also building up my freezer stash.

I should probably be building up my freezer stash, anyway, for in case I find work. The hospital up the road from us posted a per diem position for a general ultrasound position. I called on Friday and left a message for the director of the department, whom I spoke to in November when I first applied there. I'm hoping she'll call me back on Monday or Tuesday, but I'll probably just re-submit my application and apply for that position. While I hope that I get it, I would still love to continue staying home with Cael. However, if I lose my unemployment, and we have just Matt working, there's no way we'd be able to make it. We've already had to go 6 weeks with just Matt's pay, and we had negative money in the bank. It will all work out, one way or another.

Finally, I got Cael's fluffy mail. I'm so excited about it. We got a Blue Berry cover, Kawaii pocket diaper, 2 BumGenius 4.0 pocket diapers, and a GroVia cover. I can't wait to wash them all, and start using them. I've mentioned before that I won't have to do laundry as much. I'm also excited about that, too. I love the colors and prints that I got. Here's a picture of my fluffy mail. I'm just waiting for one more diaper in the mail, that I ordered for $5 off the Cloth Diaper Swap group on Facebook. It's a red Babyland pocket diaper in excellent used condition with no stains. For $5, you can't go wrong.

Not Enough

I'm failing Cael. Period.

For the past week or so, Cael will eat for 4 minutes. Exactly 4 minutes. After that, he comes off the breast crying and screaming. I chalked it up to teething pain, but now I think it's something else. The amount of milk I'm producing is not enough for Cael. I came to that terrible conclusion tonight. I tried for a half hour (after feeding him on the breast) to desperately put him to sleep, but he just kept screaming. I tried Tylenol. Nothing. Then I decided to see if he was still hungry. I knew there wasn't anything left in my breasts, so I heated up some frozen milk I had from a while ago. Well, he sucked down 3 ounces no problem, and immediately fell asleep. I tried putting my son to sleep hungry, and I feel horribly guilty about it.

Add to that, I managed to only pump .5 ounce (yes, that's half an ounce) COMBINED from both breasts after the last feeding this evening. I didn't even think it was worth saving, but I did. Half an ounce wouldn't satisfy an ant. And now I just got done pumping 2 ounces. So that's a grand (pathetic) total of 4.5 ounces for the entire day. I used to get that amount from both breasts in one pumping session.

The biggest and most important fact is that Cael is supposed to be gaining weight. He has 2 weeks left until his weight check, and I'm dying to know if he's gained anything in these past 2 weeks. How am I supposed to help my son gain weight if I can't produce the milk he needs? It's really affecting me. I'm stressing, and having anxiety over it all. I'm so afraid that he's not going to gain enough in the next 2 weeks, and I'll have to give him formula. Or worse, he'll be labeled "failure to thrive." Nothing against formula fed babies, but I really just wanted Cael to be exclusively breast fed.

The lactation consultant I spoke to for a half hour gave me a lot of good advice. After going over everything that I was experiencing, we concluded that I'm having issues with my supply. The reason Cael comes off after 4 minutes, is because my letdown ends, and he doesn't get as much as he was, and therefore gets frustrated. She suggested doing a few things. Firstly, switch-feeding Cael. This means to immediately give Cael the other side when he comes off the first side, and then switch again. Secondly, pumping both sides right after feeding Cael. This will help trigger my breasts to produce more milk, even if I don't have any milk coming out. And thirdly, taking some herbal supplements, including alfalfa and More Milk Plus. These supplements, as well as Fenugreek, help your body to stimulate more milk production.

Hopefully with all this and determination, I can get my supply back and get Cael to gain some weight. That is my biggest concern, is that he is not gaining. I guess only time will tell. I'm planning on hooking up our Wii fit, and weighing me, and then weighing the both of us, so that I can see how much he weighs. It won't be exact, but it will let me know if he's reached the 14 pound mark yet. :::Fingers crossed:::

Wide-Eyed!

Over the last week, Matt and I have noticed an obvious change in Cael's personality. He's more adventurous and interested in the world around him. He's always reaching for things around him and in front of him, and is putting everything in his mouth. Or at least trying to. When I have my phone, food, etc in my hands in front of him, he just reaches for it and tries to hold it himself. It's definitely cool to see him wanting to explore the world around him with wide-eyes, and an open interest.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So the Lactation Consultant called me yesterday. I feel better and worse at the same time. Better because she gave me some suggestions; worse because the problem is most likely me.

She suggested "switch feeding" to see if that makes Cael happy. Meaning, let him eat on one side until he comes off crying, then immediately switch him to the other side. He's probably content during the first 4 minutes because of my letdown allowing him to get the milk he wants. Then it stops, and he isn't getting what he wants/needs anymore. Which is why switching immediately should help.

She thinks, based on everything I've told her, that the problem is with my supply. Basically, because Cael was sleeping through the night for such a long time, up until a week or so ago, my breasts got used to that, and I guess decreased my overall supply. Now that he's been awake at night (probably a combination of 4mw and teething) to eat, it's making a mess of my supply. So now I feel like I'm not adequate enough for my son, and I'm not giving him what he need.

She suggested some herbal supplements to help boost my supply. She also suggested pumping after each feeding session during the day to also try to boost my supply. Hopefully this will all help, and I can start giving Cael what he needs/wants again.

Cloth Diapering Thus Far

We have been cloth diapering for well over a month now. We started on December 9th, and it has been going great! We haven't needed to buy any disposable diapers or wipes (since I made my own, and make my own wipe solution) since then. I absolutely love cloth diapering, and it's easier than I ever thought it would be. And it's not any messier than using disposables - there's still poop. If anything, it's cleaner than disposables, because cloth diapers are less likely to leak and mess everywhere. And I can attest to that after several pooplosions!

It's been tight with having only 5 diapers/covers to use, especially since Cael has been pooping close to every day. So fortunately, I was able to order a few more, and I'm just waiting for them to arrive any day now. I got two more BumGenius 4.0 OS pocket diapers, a Kawaii OS pocket diaper, a Blueberry OS cover, and a GroVia OS cover. I'm super excited to be getting these, and they're in different, fun colors. Plus, it will definitely help. I won't have to do laundry every day now.

20 Weeks Old!

If this were a pregnancy, Cael would be "half-baked":) So where to start. How about at sleep. Or rather, lack of sleep. The past week has been absolutely horrible during the night. Cael has been getting up anywhere from 12:30 am to 1:30 am. Sometimes he'll fall back to sleep while eating, sometimes he screams, and fights going back to sleep. Then say he's back to sleep by 2 am, he's up again sometime between 4:30 am and 5:30 am. But at this point, he's awake for good. More than not, he's crying and fussing. So I leave the room so that he doesn't wake Matt up.

Fortunately, one good thing is that he's taking naps during the day. Usually, for around 2 hours. I desperately count on the fact that about 1-2 hours after he's awake, he'll take a 2.5 or so hour nap. That's when I sleep too, thankfully. If not for that little gift, I'd be a walking zombie all day long. I really hope that if this is the 4 month sleep regression/4 month wakeful, that it passes quickly. I really miss the days when he'd sleep through the night, until 7am. And even more so the days where we'd both sleep in until 9:30. I was foolish in believing that would last.

Another thing that is weighing greatly on my mind (pun intended), is Cael's eating and weight. It's really concerning me, because I'm afraid that he's not getting what he needs, and therefore not gaining the weight that he needs to in the next 2 weeks. Otherwise, I'm afraid that he'll be labeled "failure to thrive." At exactly 4 minutes after beginning to eat - just like clockwork - he'll pull off the breast, and start screaming and crying. I'll continue trying for the next 3 minutes or so to get him to keep eating, in which he'll take a few more suckles, then come off screaming again. It used to be that this would only happen on the left breast. However, now it doesn't matter which breast he's on. He used to eat longer on the right breast, but not anymore. And after his bath at night, he'd always fall right to sleep on the right breast. Again, not anymore. I really hope this is due to teething, and not me. I really feel like I'm failing Cael; that he doesn't like my milk anymore, and that I'm not good enough for him. Especially when he'll take a bottle with no problem.

Oh, He's Sitting Alright!

Cael is now able to sit up by himself. Unassisted!! I can't believe it! I was over a friend of a friend's house (and she has a 3 weeks old), just hanging out. Which, by the way, was nice to do and have girl time, and adult talk. So anyway, I was sitting on the floor with Cael, and sat him down in front of me, between my legs. He's been able to hold himself sitting while holding onto my fingers, for about a week or 2 now. But has never sat unassisted before. Well, I decided to let go of holding him, and see what happened. Lo and behold, instead of tipping over immediately, he continued to stay seated, by himself. He was little wobbly, and started to tip over a few times, but for the most part, he did excellent. He was able to hold himself sitting for at least a minute, maybe 2. I think that's pretty good for sitting for the first time.

When we got home later in the day today, I immediately put him on the floor to see if he would do it again. Of course he did, but for longer this time. He was able to hold himself sitting for a couple of minutes strait before toppling over. I was able to get a bunch of pictures (of course!) and a video of it. I'm so proud, but sad at the same time. My little man is growing before my very eyes. I just can't believe he's sitting already. I was so excited, that I decided to Skype my mom. I told her I had something to show her, so she called me on Skype. I answered, with Cael sitting in front of the computer. I had to snap a picture, it was so adorable. My mom loved it, and can't wait to see him again. We're aiming to get down again the first weekend in February.

When Matt came home from work, I told him that Cael and I wanted to show him something. I had Matt close his eyes, while I laid a blanket on the floor, and sat Cael down. I had him open his eyes, and there before him, was Cael sitting by himself. He was impressed! He asked me if he's supposed to be doing that yet. Honestly, I didn't know. I thought it was a little early, especially since I know of some babies that haven't been able to roll onto their backs yet (around the same age as Cael) - which is perfectly fine, because every baby develops differently. So I looked it up online, and it turns out babies can start sitting alone from 4-7 months. So I guess you can say he started early. I'm so impressed with my lil' munchkin!

Welcome To Hell

Otherwise known as the 4 Month Sleep Regression. Add to that teething, and you have a full-blown inferno. After doing some reading, and paying attention to signs that Cael is giving me, I'm pretty sure this combination is what he is going through. I found this website, and I feel it describes what Cael is going through. Here's a quote from said website:

Sleep regressions are phases that many children go through due to physical and/or cognitive developmental milestones; sometimes these milestones occur simultaneously which really does a number on their sleep. These milestones whether that be crawling, standing, walking, cruising or even talking causes sleep disruptions because when a new skill is learned, that’s all their little brains can think about. What we need to remember is that children learn everything; things that we often take for granted such as tying our shoe laces, stacking blocks, walking, running – these are things that children find fascinating once they learn how to do it which means they have to do them over and over and over again. It preoccupies every waking second and unfortunately, every second that they should be sleeping. Sleep regressions seem long and painful because your child turns into a shell of her former self – she will become clingy, whiny, fussy and cry a whole lot. Sleep a lot less. Your weapon against sleep regressions other than this article? Information and preparation for the likelihood that at some point, your child will encounter a sleep regression. Here’s the low-down of what you can expect.

http://www.motherhoodsupport.com/2010/08/sleep-regressions-what-they-are-and-how-to-deal-2/

Clingy, whiny, fussy - that describes Cael over the last week. To be completely honest, the night before last was the worst night since Cael was a newborn. And I will actually go as far as to say I think it was worse than the newborn stage. He was up most the night, and I probably gotmaybe 3 hours of sleep. We were up for the day at 4:15, even though I continually tried to put him back to sleep for 2 hours. I never laid in bed for more than 10 minutes from 4-6 am. It was really rough. During the day has been very similar for the last few days, too. Very fussy, clingy and grumpy.

However, last night and today weren't bad. Hopefully he's turning around? He was horrible before bed last night - screaming for 1.5 hours strait. Like bloody-murder screaming. So bad, that we started his bedtime routine 20 minutes early. He screamed the whole time Matt was unchanging him for his bath, during his bath, and after his bath. Up until I started feeding him. After 5 minutes of being on my right breast, he was out cold. Fortunately and thankfully, he slept from 9:15pm to 5am.

I'm also have issues feeding Cael on my left breast. Hence, 'right' is italicized above. He'll feed on my left side for no more than 5 minutes, and then pull off and start crying, like he's frustrated. He has been doing this for about a week now. He'll feed fine on my right breast. It makes me frustrated, too, like I'm inadequate on that side. I know it's not a supply issue, because I can squirt milk from that breast all over. So I really don't know what's going on with my left side. At least he doesn't mind feeding on the right side.

And finally, a quick update on the small lump I had in my right breast. It's an inflamed Montgomery Tuberacle. So basically, a plugged up oil duct. Some calamine lotion to help dry it out, and I should be good. Seeing everyone in the BCC wasn't as bad or as uncomfortable as I thought it would be either. Everyone was nice, and actually helpful with Cael during my appointment. He was fussing a lot, so Cael was passed around the BCC, so that he wouldn't cry in the exam room with me. It was nice of them to help out.

Just Some Photos

I took these pictures with my Nikon, and I really love the way they came out. So I figured I'd share.

This one is of Killian, our Chocolate Lab. I LOVE this picture because his nose and whiskers are so in focus, while the further away parts of the photo are blurry.

And this one of Cael melts my heart. I love how he's looking away here, his expression, and how blue his eyes are. I also like the color of the image. However, I had my ISO up too high (I believe 1600), so there is a lot of "noise", or graininess in the picture. Especially in the darker parts. I also had my white balance on the wrong setting. It was on white-cool Fluorescent. I don't think the white balance affected the picture as much as the ISO. Considering all this, and the fact that I just really started learning about my camera about a month ago, it's a pretty good picture.

And finally, this picture. Z is for Zachary. This was taken in memory of Zachary, the Sweet Pea gone too soon. I'm not sure what else to say about this. It's incredibly heart-wrenching and sad. May you rest in peace, Angel Baby Zachary.