Craptastic Unawesomeness

Those are the only two words that I can think of to describe the last few days. It has been very stressful indeed. It all started Tuesday night (which was actually after midnight, so early Wednesday morning) when I found out our checking balance was $0.00, and our savings balance was only $130. I tried paying our Verizon bill, but it couldn't be processed, so I checked our bank account. Turns out, where I thought we were ahead financially, we were actually behind. I take responsibility for not keeping track of our financials, but at the same time, I got screwed. My *previous* employer decided to cash both a $500 and $300 check at the same time, which cleaned out our account. This was for our health insurance, to keep it active. Like I said, I didn't
account for those checks, but at the same time, the $500 check was given to them in October. So I guess I forgot about it, thinking it was cashed.

So after checking my account, I realize that I didn't get my unemployment payment for the previous week. Not getting that payment also set us back. I thought maybe that I didn't claim my benefits for the previous week, so I contacted the NYS Dept of Labor. Are you ready for this crap!? I did claim my weekly benefits, but my claim is under review. Why, you may ask? Well, it turns out my *previous* employer told NYS that after my short term disability ended, that I chose not to return to work. Haha! I'll repeat that: I chose not to return to work, so therefore, I shouldn't be eligible for unemployment. Isn't that a crock of bullshit? Well, to make a long story short, I spoke to the HR department and told them the real story. That my position was posted and filled while I was out on maternity leave, so I didn't have a position to come back to. So it was chosen for me to not return. I also told him how unhappy I was with how the whole situation was handled, and how I thought it was shady. He agreed that I have every right to be upset, and he was going to talk to some people, and find out what's going on. I should be hearing from him on Monday. We shall see.

To top it off, Matt's windshield is cracked all the way across, so we have to somehow come up with the money to fix that. At least $500. I have no idea where that is going to come from. We'll have to figure it out, I guess. At least I went food shopping, and that cleared. And thankfully Cael is breastfed, because we wouldn't be able to afford formula. I'm going to see if I can try to apply for WIC. It would definitely help us out.

Cael has been super fussy the last few days, too. It's really taking a toll on me, too. The constant crying, not wanting to be put down, not taking naps anywhere but on me. It's very taxing. And not to mention exhausting. Matt also left for Long Island yesterday, so not having him around in the evening is also hard on me. But he needed to get away, and I can't blame him. He has been going non-stop since the summer, when I was put on bed rest. He needed a break, and I can't say I blame him. Hopefully he'll come back feeling relaxed and refreshed.

But anyway, back to Cael. I'm not sure what to think. I'm hearing that you can't spoil an infant at this age, but then people tell me you can. I talked to my mom about it, and she looked up some things on the internet. She found a site that talked about a mom with a similar situation. She attributed it to her baby being breastfed. They take comfort in breastfeeding, and therefore fall asleep while on the breast, and get used to sleeping on you. It makes sense, and could explain why Cael will only nap on me. The lady suggested trying to keep your baby awake while breastfeeding, and then put them down in the crib for their nap. I know it's going to probably take some time, but I'll have to work on it. At least it gives me some hope that I'm not spoiling him, and that it's because he's breastfed.

Onto happier things. I got Cael to chuckle yesterday. It was *the* cutest video ever. He's also trying to roll over from back to belly. He's getting really close to doing it, and I wouldn't be surprised if he rolls within the next week. He's getting so big, I can't take it. We also started cloth diapering tonight. It's going to be interesting to see if he soaks through everything in the morning. I guess if you're going to test them, overnight would be the time to do it. We're really low on disposable diapers, so I'm glad that I got the detergent today. I really don't want to/can't buy more diapers, so I'll be doing a ton of laundry. I only have enough inserts for 7 diaper changes, so I'll be doing laundry probably twice a day to reuse the inserts. Wish me luck!

In other news, we had 6 inches of snow on Wednesday night. It was Cael's second snowfall. So Thursday morning, I put Cael in his cute bunting, took him outside, and sat him in the snow. I took some pictures (of course), and he was so adorable. It was cold out, so I didn't spend too much time outside.

I was also given a Moby Wrap by a friend of mine. I am so thankful for such a wonderful gift. Cael loves it! And it's so comfortable too - much more comfortable than my Infantino carrier. I can't wait to wear it out in public.

Just Writing

As I'm writing this, I'm finishing a nice glass of wine. And I have to admit, that I'm nicely buzzed. It's been a while since I've been buzzed, or drunk for that matter. It's almost 1 am, and I'm still awake - as I do almost every night - but I will be going to bed shortly. I find that the only time I get to myself is after 10-10:30pm, when both Matt and Cael are in bed. So therefore, the last few nights, I haven't gone to bed until about 1am. It's nice to have *me* time, I must say. I love being home with Cael all day, but I also need time for myself.

Speaking of Cael, I'm looking back on pictures of him, and I can't believe how fast he's growing. He's holding his head up, looking around, follows objects with his eyes, and looks in the direction of sound. He smiles when he sees me, and it makes me so proud to know that he recognizes me. It makes me feel loved. I grow really sad at the rate that he's growing. I feel that he'll be going away to college before I know it, and it makes me cry. I don't know what I would do if I were working right now. I'm still looking for jobs - which there aren't any around our area - so that I can work, but I can't imagine leaving him everyday, and having a daycare raise my son. They would most likely experience every "first" of his. The first time he smiled, the first time he sat unassisted, the first time he reaches for an object, or his first word. It breaks my heart to think that I would miss all this. I feel horribly bad for all the mamas that have to experience this. I take it as a blessing that there aren't any places hiring for a sonographer around me, because it allows me to stay home with Cael, and experience his firsts.

I love my son so much. More than I ever imagined that I could. Knowing how much I love him makes me regret and feel so guilty for the way I felt the first 3 weeks of his life. I can't believe I felt the way I did. But I love him more than words can describe, and I think that's all that matters now. I just had to say that. I'm finding myself growing tired, so I'm going to end it here.

3 Months Old!

How in the heck did 3 months fly by so quickly! I've said it before, and I'll say it again, it makes me really sad. He's getting so big, and is developing so rapidly. He's to the point now where he can sit up if you hold his hands with yours. But his head still bobbles around a little, but he does a very good job of holding it up.

Yesterday was a horrible day for Cael. We went to go visit a friend in the Binghamton area, that I went to middle school with. She came and visited me in the hospital when I had Cael, which was very sweet of her. Before that, we hadn't seen each other in YEARS! Since 8th grade, that is. She just had twins 2 months ago, so it was nice to visit her and see her little munchkins. Well, I was there for about 3 hours; 2 hours of which Cael was screaming bloody murder. It was his pain scream - high pitched frantic wails and screams, and they just break my heart. He had some horrible gas, and we got him to burp several times, until he eventually spit up a ton of foamy, frothy spit up. Poor little guy. He eventually started feeling better, and fell asleep in my arms. I'm so happy he was feeling better, because then we actually got to talk to each other.

I take it his gas is from my increased intake of caffeine. I've been having a cup of tea a day, and I'm thinking that is the problem. So I'll cut back on the tea, and see what happens. I haven't given him his reflux medication in about a week, and I haven't really noticed a change. The medicine didn't really seem it was working 100% anyway. However, he is spitting up less. He still gets the hiccups every now and then, and after he burps, he does this slight heaving motion like he wants to spit up, but he doesn't. It seems like his digestive system is finally maturing, thankfully. But he does still seem to have a lot of gas/farting, so we'll see how he feels over the next few days with my decreased caffeine intake.

Cael took a bottle today...twice! I'm really trying to get him to take a bottle so that Matt and I can go out for dinner, a movie, or anything. Initially, he only took 1 ounce, and then I gave him the breast. Then, before his final night feeding, he took the remainder of the bottle, which was 3 ounces. He was still hungry after, so I gave him the breast. I figured out the trick to him taking the bottle. He needs to be on the Boppy, similar to how I breast feed him. I'll try another bottle tomorrow, and hope he takes it again.

I'm super excited about starting to cloth diaper. I got my "fluffy mail" on Friday. However, dummy me didn't order the detergent at the same time, so I can't use the diapers until I get the detergent, and wash them first. It should be here on the 8th, which is Thursday :( I guess I'll just have to wait. I also can't wait to get more cloth diapers, and use them all the time. Right now, I only have enough for 7 diaper changes, so not even a whole day.

O' Christmas Tree!

Today was a great day! Matt left work early today so that we could take Cael to the mall to see Santa. Matt was convinced that he would scream, but I told him that he wouldn't cry. Cael doesn't mind meeting and being held by strangers. Plus, it helped that he had just woke up from a nap. We got to the mall at the perfect time - there was only one family ahead of us, so we were immediately next in line.

It was a little frustrating, though, because the family in front of us - who had twin girls about the age of 2 - were taking a ton of time. They were afraid of Santa, which is fine. But they took about 10 minutes trying to get the girls even close to Santa. Matt and I were getting annoyed, because we knew that Cael's happiness was probably fading the longer we were waiting. Finally, the girls' grandmother suggested letting us go ahead of them, so we did. I was thankful for that, because we got some great pictures of him and Santa while Cael was still happy.

When we got home, we relaxed for a bit, and then put the tree up. I was so excited, and Cael was surprisingly happy sitting on the couch while we put the tree up, and decorated it. I got some good pictures of him under the tree too. I used to lay under the tree with my grandma looking up the tree at the lights, so I want to do the same thing with Cael.

Making A Big Change

From disposable diapers to cloth diapers, that is. Yup, after weeks of secretly thinking about it, I made the leap. I'm pretty sure I have my fellow Sweet Peas to thank for that, for without them, the idea of cloth diapering wouldn't have even surfaced in my mind. I'm super excited about it, too. It is expensive to start, but overall, it's much cheaper in the long run. Especially if you buy one-size CDs (cloth diapers). They're diapers that you can adjust with snaps to fit baby, so that they can be used from newborn to toddlers.

Now let me just say, researching CDs is OVERWHELMING! There are SO many types and brands out there, it's unbelievable. And each one is slightly different. There are pocket diapers (in which you "stuff" an insert into the back of the diaper to absorb the mess), hybrid diapers (which uses a reusable cover, and disposable liners), one sized diapers, sized diapers, pre-folds (which I actually use as burp rags, and you put a cover over the pre-fold), all-in-two diapers (in which inserts snap in and out of the cover) and all-in-one diapers (which, I believe, are the ones I got, which are also one-size). I'm sure there are more, but my brain is mush from all the researching I've been doing the last few days.

These diapers can run anywhere from $13-$25 a piece, which sounds expensive, but in the long run isn't. How many diapers you need depends on the type of diaper you use. I bought the diapers with inserts and a reusable cover, this way I don't need a new cover for each diaper change. I would only need a new insert (unless, of course, the cover gets soiled). I'm doing a trial run of two different brands before investing in a stash. There are only a few differences between the two, but I want to make sure they fit Cael well, and make sure there aren't any leaks.

The first one I'm trying is a Best Bottom diaper shell, with snap-in inserts. This makes it an all-in-two diaper because of the two pieces. It's a one-size diaper, so it has a 3x3 snap system to adjust size. I got it in the "Blue Moon" color, and ordered 3 Stay-Dry microfiber inserts to start. It will only get me 3 diaper changes, but that's ok. If I end up liking them, I'll have to order more anyway.

The second one I'm trying is a Flip diaper shell, with Stay-Dry inserts that tuck into edges at either end of the diaper. They just lay in the diaper, instead of snap in. They are also one size inserts, as opposed to the Best Bottom, which you have to order different sizes. Like the Best Bottom, it is a one size diaper and also has a 3x3 snap system to adjust size. I ordered it in Ribbit Green, and got 3 inserts as well. This diaper comes with one insert, so I'll have a total of 4 inserts to try.

I should be getting them any day now, and I'm super excited. Of course, because they're cloth diapers, I'll be doing more loads of laundry. But it won't be a problem since I'm home all day anyway. There is a very strict washing routine you should follow, though. As to not ruin the integrity of the absorption of the liners, you have to use special detergent that is made for cloth diapers. There are no dyes, enzymes, bleaches, brighteners, etc in them. This way there's no residue left behind in the diaper (which impedes absorption). You should do a rinse/spin cycle with cold water, then wash in hot water with the detergent, and then do an extra rinse cycle with cold water. It's kind of tedious, but I'm sure I'll get used to the routine soon enough. I believe it's also recommended to wash them 5 times before using them, this way you get the maximum absorbency out of the liners.

And yes, you throw the poopy diapers right into the washing machine. Well, at least until they start solids. Breast milk and formula milk poop is water soluble, so there's nothing left after they go through the wash. When the baby starts eating solids, their poop will in-turn become solid, so I believe you drop the solid part into the toilet, and then wash the diaper/insert. No biggie. However, I think Matt is bothered by the fact that you don't wash the poop out first. But hey, that's what the wash it for, right!?

In addition to saving tons of money in the long run, pros to cloth diapering also include less environmental waste, healthier for baby's bottom (although, luckily Cael hasn't had diaper rash yet), and they can be re-used on future children, in turn saving more money (which I don't think will be happening with us). Not to mention they come in a variety of colors to choose from, making them super cute, and possibly addicting to buy.

In the end, I'm super excited about starting to cloth diaper. I really hope it's something I'll enjoy as much as I think I will.

We also got Cael's BabyLegs in the mail today, and I was super excited. I got an amazing deal on Black Friday - a set of 3 pairs of BLs for $12! They are usually $12 a pair (which is why I haven't bought them yet), so I got 9 pairs for $36 with free shipping. I'm so happy, and they look so cute on him.

Finally, I'm going to share a picture I took for the photography group I mentioned the other day. Today's theme was "Love", and you can express it anyway you want. Since Cael was super fussy today, and would only be happy when I sat him on the couch looking outside, I figured I would set up my tripod and get a picture of the two of us looking outside - something Cael loves (and I love him). After some editing using PhotoBucket, this is the final result. I wasn't too happy with it at first, but then some of the ladies brought out the good parts of it, and considering what I was working with, it didn't turn out too bad. :)

Photography

I joined a Facebook group with a bunch of ladies from the September Sweet Peas group (originally from The Bump). This spin-off group is photography based, so that we can hone up our photography skills. There are daily themes, in which we post pictures and advice, and critique each other so that we can learn more. I love taking pictures, especially of Cael, so I'm super excited to actually learn how to use my D-SLR camera appropriately. Here are some recent pictures I've taken. These were taken at 12 weeks and 12 weeks 1 day (so between yesterday and today).

Twelve Weeks Old

I can't believe that Cael will be 3 months old next week. It completely and utterly boggles my mind. He's still sleeping through the night (thankfully!), and is getting bigger each day before my very eyes. He has been having more fussy moments during the day, but is quite happy and content in the morning when we wake up for the day. He is holding his head up higher and higher every time he does Tummy Time, although he usually screams through it. He apparently doesn't like Tummy Time very much.

I also got him to laugh today. It wasn't a chuckle, or a belly-laugh, but it was more than an inward gasp-type laugh that he usually does. I had him on the changing table, and was talking all funny to him, and tickling him from the belly up to the neck. It was the cutest ever, and made me fall even more in love with him. :)

I'm hoping we can get our tree up this week. We straitened up the living room, and now have a spot for the tree, but Matt says it's too early because it's not even December yet. It's funny - last year, I didn't even want to put the tree up until a week before Christmas, and we took it down the day after. Now, I want it up as soon as possible. I guess it has to do with Cael. I can't wait to take his holiday pictures with the tree in the background. Speaking of which, I'm hoping that Matt can get home from work early tomorrow so that we can get Cael's picture taken with Santa. I'm so excited about that, and I hope he doesn't cry

On another note, I think I'll be getting my second postpartum period soon. I had some pretty bad cramping yesterday/last night, and went to bed nauseous. I also had very light spotting last night, but nothing so far today. The last time I had cramping like that (6 weeks pp), I ended up getting what I think is my first pp period. I'm kind of frustrated because I thought it would stay away since I'm breastfeeding. But I guess that's not always the case. And my cycles were weird before getting pregnant, so I guess I should expect them to be irregular, and even more weird, after giving birth.

And speaking of breastfeeding, Cael is now refusing a bottle. He hasn't had one since 6 or 7 weeks old (oops), and now he won't take one at 12 weeks old. I guess I waited so long. I can't believe that much time has passed since I've been to my moms. That's where he got his last bottle. My sister fed it to him. I guess I didn't realize he hadn't had a bottle in that long, and now I hope he doesn't refuse it forever. It'd be nice to be able to get out in the future without Cael, and leave him with breast milk. Matt tried last night, and all Cael would do is scream. Then I tried again today - 3 times - and all he wanted was the boob. I even slipped my boob out of his mouth, and quickly slipped the bottle in. He was too smart for that, and caught on right away and instantly started screaming. He knew better, and wasn't having it. I'll have to try again tomorrow, maybe before he gets too hungry and starts crying. I really hope I can get him to take a bottle, or I've been pumping the last few nights for nothing.

Finally, let's talk about sex. Matt and I finally decided to try the deed at 11 weeks pp. Let's just say, it didn't work out too well. It was ok at first (I guess). But after about 5 minutes, it went downhill. First off, I couldn't get the damn condom box open - stupid plastic wrapper. Then, Matt had me put it on, but I couldn't remember how to put one on. Duh! We then used lube, and it was ok for a few minutes, until it felt like I was having sex with a box cutter. It really became uncomfortable and was burning towards the back, where I had tore. I know I'm healed and my stitches have been gone for a while now, but I guess it's just still sensitive. I, of course, got really upset because I felt like a failure, and couldn't be intimate with Matt. So we had to stop, and I ended up just doing Matt (I didn't want to leave him hanging).

I think I ended up crying myself to sleep, and thinking that I was going to join a convent, and never have sex again. I feel bad, but I just don't have the drive or desire that I had before. I wasn't crazy before, but now it's just nonexistent. I don't think I would mind if I never had sex again (Shh, don't tell Matt I said that). But that's silly talk and unrealistic, so hopefully we'll try again soon, and it won't be so bad. I just can't wait until I can get an IUD so we don't have to use condoms.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Cael's first Thanksgiving! We'll be spending Thanksgiving at home with Matt's family. They're making dinner, and I made a dessert to "bring". Home-made baked apple crisp. Yum!

I dressed Cael in his Thanksgiving outfit with a matching bib that says "My First Thanksgiving". It is so adorable! And of course, it has a turkey on the butt. I love the Carter's outfits with the appliques on the butt.

Here is the apple crisp I made. I can't wait to try it tonight. Matt was awesomely helpful and peeled the 11 apples for me while I mixed the dry ingredients. Definitely made the prep time a lot quicker. Hopefully it came out good :).

Here is my little Turkey! I knew I wanted to take a picture of him in a pot with spoons for Thanksgiving (since I took one of him in a pumpkin for Halloween. But adding the sweet potatoes, stuffing and cranberry sauce completed the picture, I think. It started out ok, and I got a few good pictures. But then he wasn't having anymore of it, and had a meltdown. He was still cute. (Oh yea, we cheated. He wasn't actually sitting up on his own. Matt had his arm behind the put, and holding onto the back of Cael's shirt so he wouldn't slump over).

11 Weeks & Oh My!

Another week gone by. Unreal. Today will be Cael's first evening out with our bowling league. Yup, that's right. Finally after 11 weeks, Cael and I will be going with Matt tonight to watch him bowl. He'll finally get to meet everyone. Before that, though, we'll be going out
to look for a new vehicle for me. It'll be a long day for Cael, but he should be ok.

We've finally had it with my Jeep Patriot, and it's only a year and a half old. Yesterday, it started leaking from the roof. Yup, leaking water, like a waterfall. And it wasn't coming from my sunroof, but it was coming from the dome lights. I didn't know how to react at first, because I had no idea what was happening. It just started pouring out all over my dash, and down over my radio. I was pissed to say the least. So we'll be looking at Nissan vehicles. We shall see.

Cael is also back to sleeping through the night, thankfully! For the last few days or so, he's slept from 9:45pm to about 6:30am! I love it, but when I get up, my boobs are screaming at me, and fully engorged. I think I'll start pumping after Cael eats at night, after he's asleep in his crib. This way, my boobs will be less engorged by the time morning comes.

We also caught Cael yesterday fully lifting his head up, and looking forward during tummy time. We put him on the changing table (which he loves!) on his belly, and immediately held his head way up at almost a 90-degree angle, and was looking forward, and all around. He did this yesterday for the first time, but I wasn't quick enough with grabbing my camera. I think I was just so surprised and in shock that he was doing that, that by the time I went to get my camera, he was tired, and had put his head down. I can't believe how big he is getting so quickly. It makes me really upset, but I think it would be going by even quicker if I was working everyday. As I've said before, I'm very thankful and fortunate that I'm getting the opportunity to stay home with Cael. It's been financially tight, and wasn't my choice, but I'm grateful nonetheless.

My brother-in-law and sister-in-law came over yesterday for a visit with Briley. Turns out that Briley has the same "I Love Mommy" outfit that Cael has, but in pink. Lindsey brought it, and we put them both in their respective outfits, and put them side-by-side in Cael's crib to take pictures. It's funny, because Cael looked bigger than Briley just 1 week ago (Briley is exactly 6 weeks older), and yesterday, Briley looked slightly bigger than Cael. Growth spurt, maybe? Who knows. All I know is that they looked so cute next to each other. Especially when Briley was trying to feed Cael her fingers. So cute!

In The Walker

I decided to assemble Cael's Adventure Walker today to see how he would like being in it. Turns out it's a bouncer as well, but after putting him in it, his feet don't touch the ground in the bouncer position. He stayed in it happily for a full 10 minutes before he started screaming. Turns out he was tired, because as soon as I took him out and snuggled him, he passed out. The cute thing is that he is too small for it, so I had to tuck blankets in the front, back and sides of him so that he wasn't wobbling around. He also loved the lights that were on it, and stared at them smiling. Finally - something that I can put him in so I can get some things done during the day without him crying (while supervising him, of course).

Here is my latest "craft", if you will. After we were discharged from the hospital, I collected all of the things related to Cael's birth, with the hopes that I would put together a shadowbox. Well, I finally bought a shadowbox frame, and during some time that Cael was asleep, I put it together. I'm very happy with how it turned out. However, I underestimated the size of the onesie we took him home in, and got a frame that was a little too small. But overall, it came out the way I wanted it to.

Weight Loss & Blood Work

105. That's my current weight. I have not been this light since high school. I dropped 13 pounds in about 2.5 weeks. I know that weight loss is common with breastfeeding, but I became concerned because of how much weight I've lost in so little time. I was 149 the week I delivered, meaning I've lost 44 pounds in 10 weeks. Right before I got pregnant, I was 123, so I'm currently 18 pounds under my pre-pregnancy weight.

I called my midwife to find out if this was something I should be concerned over. She said that it was a considerable amount of weight that I lost, and that she was concerned my thyroid might be overactive. So she sent me for blood work. I also asked how much longer I need to take iron twice a day for. They want my hemoglobin to be normal for a little while before I stop it, so she also had my iron levels checked during the same blood work.

A few days later, and I got the results. Turns out my thyroid is perfectly normal, as is my iron! My iron was 12.6, so it's low-normal. But it's a big plus - my hemoglobin went from 6 to 12.6 in 10 weeks, all on my own, without a blood transfusion. Therefore, I only have to take my iron once a day, probably for the next few months. She wants me to follow up with my primary physician about the weight loss, and to also get my hemoglobin re-checked in a few months. I'm happy with that. So in the meantime, I will appreciate the weight loss I've been fortunately given, since nothing seems to be wrong.

10 Weeks Old!

Another week has gone by. My lil' man is 10 weeks old already, and I can't believe it. Last night was the first night we tried to have Cael sleep in his crib. And it went rather well; no different than any other night this past week. He was put down for bed at about 10:15 last night, and got up at 2:30am, 4:30am and 8:20am. I wish he would go back to sleeping through the night, but according to his pediatrician, sleeping through the night doesn't become consistent until about 4 months of age. So I got lucky from 6-8 weeks I guess.

I'm proud to announce that this past week I've been cooking dinner every night. I know - I should have told you to have a seat first, huh? So far, I've made spedini's, Shepherd's pie, crock pot lasagna, chicken cutlets, pork chops and Hawaiian pineapple chicken in the crock pot. Impressive, right? Well maybe not, but it's a huge step in the right direction for me, considering all I've made for my entire life is frozen or processed food. So I'm quite proud of myself. I also bought a new crock pot (5 qt) from Walmart for only $15. I've formed a whole new relationship with my new crock pot. It's so easy! I also fell in love with Pinterest, which is where I'm finding most of my recipes. It's so addictive! And helpful. Oh yea - Matt loves the new me, and having dinner when he gets home from work :). I'm loving this new stay-at-home-mom role that I'm in now.

Growing So Big!

Cael had his two-month pediatrician appointment on Thursday the 10th, at which he was weighed, measured and given his first vaccinations. It was a long, but very good appointment. Cael weighed in at 12 pounds 6 ounces and 24 inches long; 50th and 75-90th percentiles respectively. His head circumference came in at 16 inches, which, after checking charts online, is also at the 50th percentile. He's growing very well considering he is an exclusively breastfed baby. His doctor was very impressed with how much weight he's gained since his last appointment, and how well he's developing. He's right on target, which makes his Mommy proud :).

I asked about all the drooling and bubbling Cael has been doing, and wanted to know if he thought he was teething already. He said it's very unlikely, and most likely caused by his reflux. He wants Cael to keep getting his medication twice a day. After the pediatrician was done examining Cael and talking to me, he left the room, and the nurse came back in to administer his shots. It's smart that the doctor doesn't do it, this way Cael doesn't associate him with pain.

He got 3 shots and 1 oral vaccine. He (and I) did very well during the shots. I didn't get upset like I thought I would, and aside from screaming the instant the first shot was given, he calmed down almost as soon as I picked him up to comfort him. I know Cael's reaction is based off my reaction, so I didn't want to instill fear of shots into him. So after some quick snuggling from Mommy, I dressed him and we were on our way.

Now, no appointment is complete without an awkward and/or funny story. So here's mine. During the visit, the pediatrician was commenting about how much weight Cael has gained since his last appointment, and he's happy with his weight. There was a pause in our conversation as he went on to inspect Cael. He undid his diaper, and was checking his penis and everything else (I guess for a hernia or abnormalities), and this is the conversation that happened during this moment:

Pedi: So is your husband big?

Me: Uh, well, he's...(I pause, stunned at the question).
Pedi: Is your husband tall?
Me: OH! Yes, he's 6'1", and my dad was 6'5".

I totally thought that he was asking about Matt's penis size! At the same time, was wondering why he was asking me this, because I didn't think Cael was abnormally sized. What a great time to phrase a question like that!! I'm so happy I didn't answer the way I was going to, or I would have been more embarrassed! I'm not sure if he caught on to what I *thought* he was asking me. But if he did, he sure didn't show it, and definitely didn't skip a beat. Too funny, and way awkward on my part.

All in all, our lil' man is growing quite well, and I couldn't be happier. He's still struggling with spitting up and reflux, but I'm very thankful that is all he's dealing with. He goes back again in 2 months, when he's 4 months old, for his second round of shots. At least I'll know what to expect at that appointment. Unfortunately, it won't be with the same pediatrician. I really love his doctor, but my insurance is going to be cancelled the first of December, and he will then be considered out of network under Matt's plan. We'll be (hopefully) taking him to our primary doctor, whom we love dearly, but he's not a pediatrician, but a general practitioner. He's very good, but as much as I love him, I'm very fond of Cael's doctor. Oh well, it will all work out in the end.

As Cael is growing bigger, I'm shrinking. When I stepped on the scale on Tuesday, I was shocked to see I weighed 105! I have not been that light since high school! Even when I was going to the gym 5 days a week, I didn't get down that low. That's a total of 44 pounds I've lost since delivery, 18 pounds of which are below my pre-pregnancy weight. I felt this was an excessive amount given that I've been losing so much weight per week, so I called my midwife.

She's afraid my thyroid is now over-active, so she sent me for blood work to check it. She also had my iron checked at the same time to see where that is at. I'm still taking iron twice a day, and I want to know when I can stop it. However, they don't want me to stop it unless my hemoglobin is back to normal levels. I should find out the results either Monday or Tuesday, and may even have an appointment with her depending on the results. If my thyroid is normal, then I definitely have to go in to see if we can figure out why I'm losing so much weight. I'm eating normally, and not doing anything different in my daily routine. So we shall see. I welcome being this light, as long as everything is ok. My fear, though, is that I will gain a lot back when I stop breastfeeding. We shall see.

9 Weeks, And It's Official...

I'm a stay-at-home-mom. After consulting a lawyer about 2 weeks ago near my previous employer, it turns out that they were in their legal right to give my job away. I'm not sure how that's entirely fair, but it is what it is. I've also applied to a hospital near my home (not sure if I mentioned this previously), but unfortunately, they're looking for an RVT tech for a vascular lab - which I'm not. That's the only board I failed, and I didn't re-take it because I really don't enjoy doing just vascular exams. They may be hiring for per diem in the near future, but nothing is definite yet.

So, I guess I'll be staying home with Cael full-time. Although it's a shitty situation that I've been put into, I do appreciate the time that I'm getting with Cael. I'm not sure if we're going to have another child, so I think it's important to spend as much time with Cael as possible. I don't want to miss any milestones.

Speaking of which, Cael has been social smiling a lot more in response to Matt and I talking to him. And you can tell that he's trying to laugh, because he makes this gasp-like noise with a smile. I'm sure he'll be laughing before we know it!

Cael goes for his 2 month shots on Thursday. Matt can't get off work, so I'll be going alone. This is fine, as I've become more comfortable taking Cael out with just me, but it's going to be so hard watching him get his shots. From what I've heard from others, his 2 month vaccinations consist of 3 injections and 1 oral vaccine. I may be thinking stupid right now, but I hope the oral vaccine is just a liquid he has to drink, and not an injection. It's probably the former, but I can't help but worry.

I think Cael is going through a growth spurt at 9 weeks. He was sleeping through the night from about 6 weeks on, until about 4 nights ago. Instead of sleeping 10pm to 5:30am like he was doing, he now gets up to eat at around 1 or 2am, and then again at around 5am and again at 7:30ish am. I really can't complain though, because I don't think he went through major growth spurts at 3 and 6 weeks like he was suppose to. I just hope it's a growth spurt, and he returns to sleeping through the night soon. I became quite accustomed to the big chunk of sleep I was getting.

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