I have to be honest. I'm a sonographer. Right after I found out I was pregnant, when I was 4 weeks 3 days pregnant, I decided to scan myself to see if I could see anything, and check to see if I had my dates right. I never told anyone this (except for Matt and my mom). I couldn't really see too much of anything, but I did see a really small sac. I guess that should have been my first clue that maybe something was wrong. I should have at least seen a sac that was larger, and maybe a yolk sac. But of course you think it could never happen to you, so I just assumed my dates were off, and I was earlier than I thought. Fortunately, I was able to print a few pictures of my little sac to keep. Little did I know that was going to be the only proof (other than the pregnancy test and betas) that I was pregnant. That tiny sac. I fell in love with it, and in my mind, it was perfect. Nothing could be wrong, right? Boy was I wrong. But it's ok. I've come to "terms" with it, and I'm happy that I have those few pictures. I consider myself
very fortunate because a lot of women don't get to see their baby that early, and I did. So here is my little baby that was. The little sac is the little black area at the tip of my index finger. Isn't it so cute?
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I can't wait until December comes. Hopefully it won't take too long for Matt and I to get pregnant. I can't wait for that day, although I am going to be terrified that I will go through this again. But I know I can't think like that. I will just have to enjoy it day by day, knowing that I will never know what the next day holds. But I will climb that mountain when the time comes.