My Hope For This Cycle Is Fading

All of the "symptoms" I had are gone. My boobs don't hurt, I have no cramping, and honestly, I've scanned my uterus and my endometrial lining has even gone down - 7.8mm to 6.0mm. Not a good sign of pregnancy. The only thing I have going for me this cycle is that my temperatures continue to remain elevated, and higher than usual. So because of all that, in addition to not feeling pregnant (like I did last time), I think this cycle is a bust. I started testing 3 days ago. I'm not sure why so early. Maybe because I have those sensitive tests that can test a minimum hcg of 10? Either way, none of them have showed even the faintest line of hope. All negative. I'm only at CD10, so technically it's not over till it's over, but still. I just feel like this cycle will be ending soon. I actually hope it does (if I'm not pregnant, that is). My period should be here in 4-5 days. Then on to the next one.

I can't even hope for a birthday BFP, because my damn cycles are long and I'm a late ovulator. Maybe a Valentine's Day BFP? Actually, if I ovulate on schedule, I'd know about a week and a half before V-Day. I guess that would be fun. I just want my baby now. I would have been halfway through my pregnancy by now. I'd be 20 weeks 5 days by now. I really need to stop counting. It can't be good for my mental health. ::sigh::