Now This Is My Idea Of Bed Rest

I just had to share..It was beautiful out, so I figured laying down is the same anywhere, whether it's in bed, on the couch...or down by the pool :)

Bed Rest - Day 2

Let me start out by saying this is boring. I don't know how women stay on bed rest for weeks and months, and still stay sane! Hopefully (fingers crossed) my bed rest ends on Friday - 6 days away.

Currently, I'm upstairs on the couch in my IL's living room. I brought everything I figured I would need in order for me to relax up here for a few hours - computer, cell phone, tums, Brethine (for my contractions), lots of water, and pop-tarts (which didn't last long..lol). Being upstairs is much more brighter and cheerier than being down in our apartment. It's more open up here, with more windows so the light comes more and brightens up the room.

The only downfall currently, is that I'm listening to Tyson whine downstairs in the room below me (our living room/kitchen). I left Killian and Tyson out of their cages when I came upstairs so they wouldn't be confined, and so they could play with each other. I just hope they're not trashing the apartment. Tyson is probably lonely, and wondering where I'm at right now, as he's always by my side. Hopefully this is why he's crying, and not because he has to go out, because if Matt finds out I'm walking up and down stairs, he'd kill me.

Our follow-up L&D visit last night went very well. We were only there for about 40 minutes because I wasn't having any contractions - the strip was a flat-line, with the exception of course, of Cael's heart fluctuations. I got my second steroid shot - this time in the left butt cheek - and they sent me on my way. I'm supposed to keep taking the Brethine as needed, or every 8-9 hours for any contractions I have, I have until my appointment on Friday. My MW said that if I don't need it, then don't take it, and if I need it, then take it. "Play around with it" were her exact words. She also explained that my cervix could have shortened because of the contractions that I was having, and that with the bed rest, and lack of contractions, hopefully I will gain some cervical length by Friday.

I had to take it at 4:30 this morning though, because I was awoken with a slightly painful, uncomfortable, belly-hardening contraction. I figured I would wait and see if it passed before I broke out the Brethine, but I just kept getting more and more uncomfortable. I couldn't find a comfy position, and couldn't fall back to sleep. So I took it. It made my heart race, and I felt slightly jittery, but my uterus finally calmed down. I was finally able to fall back to sleep about an hour to an hour and a half after waking up.

Matt and I are also staying home all weekend, as opposed to going camping like we had planned originally. I was so set on going, and "relaxing" at my mom's campsite, and seeing everyone, that I took Cael's health out of my mind, because I figured I'd be just as relaxed there as I would be at home. Well, on the ride to the NST last night, Matt made me finally realize that.

The topic came up, and I was being really stubborn about going, and not staying home. I guess Matt realized that they only way to get through to me (he knows me best) was to yell and get upset and mad. I ended up crying and getting really upset, but he finally made me realize what is important - Cael. I felt so selfish, horrible, ashamed and like an unfit mother because I wasn't putting Cael's health first. As he said to me, "You're not first anymore. Cael is, and then you. You have to realize that, and you're not." Those words hurt, but they were the truth, and I wasn't realizing it. How horrible am I?

I'm not writing this to make Matt out to be a horrible husband who gets mad and yells at everything, because that is not the case AT ALL. Unfortunately, it takes him yelling at me, and saying certain things to make me realize the truth and reality. He later apologized when we got to the hospital for making me upset and cry, but told me it was the only way he knew to get through to me. I love him more for that.

How upset he got also made me realize how much he cares. In a nutshell, he was expressing how he doesn't want to see Cael born now, and he wants what's best for him, and staying home is what's best for him and me. He wants a healthy son, and if I wasn't obeying my midwife's orders and he was born now, he would be really upset, especially with me. I completely understand where he's coming from, and I felt bad for making him worry.

I think I've written quite a bit, so I'll sign off for now. I plan on blogging everyday I'm on bed rest with little updates, so I'll be writing a lot the next week or so.

:::Keep baking, Cael. Mommy and Daddy love you very much:::

31 Weeks!

•How far along?: 31 weeks!

•Current Weight: 139.

•Total weight gain: +16 from pre-pregnancy weight.

•How big is baby?: Head of lettuce; 18 inches long, and 3 pounds 14 ounces!

•Movement: When he moves, he moves a lot! My whole belly gets disfigured, but I love it.

•Stretch marks?: Nope!

•Sleep?: Not great. I get up several times a night, either because I'm uncomfortable and I toss and turn, or because I have to pee.

•Symptoms?: Lots of BH's and some contractions; peeing a lot

•Food aversions?: Not currently.

•Food cravings?: Cheese, pasta, pizza, hamburgers.

•Labor signs?: Well - Thursday I was uncomfortable all day (and the week leading up to Thursday), and was having pain down low, along with a lot of what I thought were BH's. I went to the doctor, and found out my cervix was short at 2 cm, and they sent me L&D. Turns out I was contracting every 3 minutes - which is probably what caused my cervix to shorten. They didn't call it PTL (I wasn't dilated and my cervix was still closed), but it was enough to be given meds to stop the contractions. Now I'm on bed rest for at least a week, until my follow-up cervical check on Friday.

•Belly button in or out?: Still even with my belly.

•What I miss: Bending over, moving quickly, bras that fit properly.

•What I'm looking forward to: My follow-up appointment on Friday to check my cervix. My fear is that it has shortened, but best case scenario would be it stays the same or lengthened.

•Best Moment this week: Being sent home from L&D, without Cael (that sounds funny). He still has some baking to do, so I'm glad he wasn't born yet.

•Milestone: Getting to 31 weeks! Keep cooking, little man!

A VERY Eventful Afternoon Yesterday

:::Sigh::: Where to start, where to start. Let's see - I posted yesterday about how I have been growing increasingly uncomfortable. Well, yesterday the lower pelvic pressure and twinges I were having were getting worse. I figured it was just a brewing UTI, even though it didn't burn when I peed. I wasn't even going to call the midwife to see if it were something I should or shouldn't be worried about, but a co-worker made me call. I am glad she made me call, because the series of events that followed my 3:45 appointment were not what I had expected or planned on. I'm in a "bulleting" mood, so here is an outline of yesterday afternoon:

• Got to OB appointment; was taken in, weighed (I currently weigh 139 :( ), gave a urine sample - urine was clean - did a vaginal culture, got to hear Cael's heartbeat, and got my belly measured.
• They added me on for an ultrasound; Cael weighed 3 pounds 14 ounces +/- 5 ounces, and was in the 67th percentile. My cervix measured between 1.97 and 2.1cm, which is short.
• Got put back into a room to talk to my MW about the results. Was told she wanted me to go up to L&D to be monitored for a few hours to see if there was a reason my cervix was short.
• Got wheeled up to L&D strait from my MW's office at around 5:30-6pm; got put into a NST room, where they hooked my belly up to the monitors. Turns out I was contracting every 3 minutes.
• The nurse talked to my MW, and came back in with a shot of Brethine to try and stop the contractions (man that burns!!). Another nurse comes in ready to start an IV on me, and I find out they may just keep me overnight. My MW explains that they want me there for at least another few hours to make sure the Brethine worked; she also told me that she was going to be giving me a shot of steroids for Cael's lungs, "just in case". That shot is in the butt, and that burns as well!
• The Brethine appeared to be doing it's job, and the line was flat for the rest of my stay.
• I was discharged at 8:45pm, with instructions to stay on "modified" bed rest for a week (meaning I'm missing a full week of work, and therefore a full week of pay); take my Brethine every 6 hours; and return at 6pm tonight (Friday) for my second steroid shot and another NST to make sure things are remaining calm.
• I have a follow-up appointment in one week on Friday the 7th to check my cervix again, to make sure it's not continuing to shorten. The extent of my bed rest will be determined after that appointment. I'm assuming if it's staying at 2 cm, then I'm off bed rest; and if it's less than 2 cm, I'm staying on bed rest with more restrictions.

PHEW!! That was a lot. I'm hoping for an uneventful NST tonight, and that we don't see Cael for at least another 6 weeks.

:::You stay put, you hear!! We're anxious to meet you too, but not this soon!:::

I Feel Like Whining

So today, I tried on bathing suits at Target so that I had something that fit my increasing boob size for the summer. Well, that started a downhill stress-fest, which included feeling bad for myself, as well as stressing about Cael's arrival. For starters, I feel fat. I know, I know. I'm pregnant. I don't feel fat in my face, belly or upper body, but more in my thighs and butt. I'm sure it was the lighting in the changing room, but my gosh - my legs and butt were lumpy with cellulite. It really made me upset and depressed, and feel bad about myself. So enter mopey mood there.

Then I realized that I only have about 9 weeks left before Cael gets here, and I started stressing about our finances, and how much less I'll be making when I'm out on short-term disability; and then when I go back to work and am paying for daycare. It's very overwhelming, and I'm trying not to stress about it. I've been good so far, but as my due date approaches, the anxiety is creeping up on me.

Finally, add to the list how I'm growing increasing uncomfortable. And I still have 9 weeks left. My belly is tight, and I have constant pressure down low from Cael head-butting my cervix and bladder. There's also pressure up high when he's positioned higher, and it presses into my lungs and stomach. Not to mention every time I sneeze or blow my nose, I pee myself a little. I know he still needs to finishing "cooking", and I shouldn't already feel this way, but I'm ready for him to be out, and me to feel normal again.

The Big 3-0 Weeks!!

•How far along?: 30 weeks!! Squeee!

•How big is baby?: Head of lettuce! 18 inches tall and about 3.2 pounds!

•Movement: Tons! He loves sticking his little butt out of my belly, and sticking his feet in my ribs. He does more rolling, pushing and moving, than he does hard kicks. Either way, I love it so much!

•Stretch marks?: Nope!

•Sleep?: I get real uncomfortable as soon as I lay down in bed to go to sleep. I know I toss and turn all night, and I have to get up at around 2-3 am every morning to pee. So basically, sleep is getting worse.

•Symptoms?: Braxton Hicks, peeing a lot, pressure down low.

•Food aversions?: Not currently.

•Food cravings?: Still: Mac&Cheese, pasta, and anything with cheese! And MEAT - cheeseburgers, venison, steak.

•Labor signs?: Nope. Just BH's.

•Belly button in or out?: Still even with my belly. Although, the top half occasionally pops out a little.

•What I miss: Bending over and moving easily.

•What I'm looking forward to: Getting construction started so that we can get Cael's nursery set up. I can't wait to nest.

•Best Moment this week: Feeling Cael have the hiccups, even though Matt couldn't feel them on the outside.

•Milestone: Being 30 weeks!

((This is a collage of weeks 5, 15 and 30, to show my belly progression))

Today I started to wean off of my Celexa, and onto Wellbutrin. For two weeks, I will take Wellbutrin every day, and Celexa every other day. After the two weeks, I stop the Celexa, and continue taking the Wellbutrin every day. This should help avoid any withdrawal symptoms that Cael would go through after birth from the Celexa. I've gone through Celexa/Lexapro withdrawals myself, and I would not want my son to go through them. So this is the best option. I just hope the Wellbutrin works just as good for me, and keeps my anxiety, palpitations and depression at bay.

We also found out that the Contractor can start our construction at the end of July! I am so happy and excited that we finally have a time frame - and it's only 4 weeks away until we have a nursery for Cael. And then I can nest all I want, and prepare his nursery. I'm so excited and can't wait. The only thing is that I will be around 35 weeks when the construction is done, so it's cutting it close to when Cael will be here. But it will all work out.

:::I Love You So Much, Cael Matthew:::

I Love Baby Clothes! And Sales!!

We hit a good sale at The Children's Place, where we got everything on clearance or sale. Everything is so adorable, that we couldn't resist. And the kicker? We spent no more than $28!! Perfect!

29 Weeks!! And A Belly Growth Spurt!

•How far along?: 29 weeks!

•Current Weight: Yesterday, I weighed 135.

•Total weight gain: +12 from pre-pregnancy weight.

•How big is baby?: Size of a squash or small cabbage! 17 inches tall and about 2.9 pounds!

•Movement: Definitely more in the last week. His feet reach my ribs and diaphragm now, so they're starting to hurt.

•Stretch marks?: Nope!

•Sleep?: Same old.

•Symptoms?: Rib pain, kidney pain, leg cramps, Braxton Hicks, pain with deep breaths.

•Food aversions?: Not currently.

•Food cravings?: Still: Mac&Cheese, pasta, and anything with cheese! And MEAT - cheeseburgers, venison, steak.

•Labor signs?: Nope. Just BH's.

•Belly button in or out?: Still even with my belly. Although, the top half occasionally pops out a little.

•What I miss: Bending over.

•What I'm looking forward to: Getting construction started so that we can get Cael's nursery set up.

•Best Moment this week: Finding out Cael is absolutely perfect at our appointments this week! His heart is perfect, and we don't have to worry about his brain. We are so happy - definitely a great moment.

•Milestone: Being 29 weeks!

Cael Is Perfect!

So we have a lot of updates regarding appointments. We went to the Pediatric Cardiologist on Tuesday in Syracuse, and we learned that everything with Cael's heart was fine. Perfectly fine! Aside from some "bright areas" that they did see in his heart, everything is structurally perfect. So therefore, the bright spots mean nothing, and everything is perfect. It was such a relief, and worth the 2.5 hour drive to Syracuse.

I also had a regular OB appointment today, which also went awesomely. My midwife confirmed that everything with Cael's heart looked great on Tuesday. I also gained another 5 pounds, which I guess I'm not happy about, but Matt said is great. I guess I should be gaining weight, right? Oh yea, I also passed my Glucose Tolerance test! Yippee!! And then when I asked about re-checking the lateral ventricles in his brain, my midwife said everything is fine, because there weren't any notes about it anywhere. So I don't need another ultrasound until 36 weeks. Matt and I are so happy! Of course, I'm happier and fine with them not re-checking the ventricles, because I had his brain "secretly" checked at work yesterday. They still only measured 9mm, which, although is considered "upper limits of normal", is still normal. So no more worrying for us! We couldn't be happier!

Unfortunately, I'm starting to develop mild hydronephrosis of my right kidney, which is causing some aches and pain on my right side in the back. This is a normal occurrence in the 3rd trimester, and there isn't anything they can do about unless it's causing severe pain and/or fever. It's just something I have to deal with, but it will be all worth it in the end. :)

Baby Shower Pictures! 06.12.2011

This won't be much of a wordy post, as I just wanted to share a few pictures from my shower yesterday. We got a lot of wonderful stuff - including a Pack-N-Play, Infant Car Seat, walker, and lots of other things. We are so grateful, and had a wonderful time with our friends and family.

28 Weeks!! (And 1 Day)

•How far along?: 28 weeks!

•Current Weight: At home, I weighed 131 yesterday.

•Total weight gain: +8 from pre-pregnancy weight.

•How big is baby?: Size of an eggplant (or head of cauliflower)! 15 inches tall and about 2.5 pounds!

•Movement: All the time! No rib kicks yet though.

•Stretch marks?: Nope! Not yet, anyway.

•Sleep?: It's ok. I'm more tired though.

•Symptoms?: Cramping, stretching, leg cramps, Braxton Hicks.

•Food aversions?: Nothing I can think of.

•Food cravings?: Still: Mac&Cheese, pasta, and anything with cheese! And MEAT - cheeseburgers, venison, steak.

•Labor signs?: Nope. Just BH's.

•Belly button in or out?: Still even with my belly. Although, the top half occasionally pops out a little.

•What I miss: Moving around easily and quickly. Bending over.

•What I'm looking forward to: Finding out everything with Cael's heart and brain is ok - hopefully. Our appointment is tomorrow on Tuesday.

•Best Moment this week: My baby shower yesterday. It was so much fun, and we got a lot of great stuff for Cael!

•Milestone: Being 28 weeks.

:::Keep growing, Baby Cael:::

Twenty-7 Weeks!!

•How far along?: 27 weeks! Oh my!

•How big is baby?: Size of a cucumber! 15 inches tall and about 2.2-2.4 pounds!

•Movement: Multiple times during the day. However, I haven't been able to get his sleep schedule down yet.

•Stretch marks?: Nope! Thankfully!

•Sleep?: So-so. I'm starting to get more tired now.

•Symptoms?: BH's, SEVERE back pain, RLP, leg cramps.

•Food aversions?: Nothing currently.

•Food cravings?: Still: Mac&Cheese, pasta, PIZZA and anything with cheese!

•Labor signs?: Just BH's. And their not real labor anyway.

•Belly button in or out?: Even with my belly.

•What I miss: Moving around easily and quickly. Bending over without my belly in the way.

•What I'm looking forward to: Feeling Cael kick more, and establishing his sleep cycles. Also, my baby shower is next weekend, as is my best friends. I'm really excited!

•Best Moment this week: Everything!

•Milestone: Every passing day and week. Today I am pregnant, and I love my Cael.

:::It's amazing; I love you so much already!:::

26 Weeks!

•How far along?: 26 weeks!

•Current Weight: Still 130 this past Tuesday. I gained 0 in a week.

•Total weight gain: +7 from pre-pregnancy weight.

•How big is baby?: Size of an eggplant! 14.5 inches tall and about 2 pounds!

•Movement: All the time! And Matt can feel

him moving almost every night. It's amazing!

•Stretch marks?: Nope! Not yet, anyway.

•Sleep?: Eh..I'm up to pee now at about 4am everyday.

•Symptoms?: A lot of RLP and belly pressure. I think I started getting Braxton Hicks contractions too. Also, I've had some leg cramps.

•Food aversions?: Seafood, currently.

•Food cravings?: Still: Mac&Cheese, pasta, and anything with cheese!

•Labor signs?: I don't think so. Just BH's.

•Belly button in or out?: Pretty much even with my belly.

•What I miss: Moving around easily and quickly. Bending over.

•What I'm looking forward to: Finding out everything with Cael's heart and brain is ok - hopefully.

•Best Moment this week: Seeing Cael with the 3D yesterday. It was pretty amazing, and I'm glad he cooperated!

•Milestone: Every passing day and week. Today I am pregnant, and I love my Cael.

Also, I figured out (with the help of Laureen) where Cael's nose came from! I showed her the ultrasound pictures this morning, and expressed that I had no idea whose nose he had. She then said that Matt had that nose when he was a baby, and showed me a picture of Matt when he was a few months old that she had on the fridge. S

ure enough, she was right! He had the same broad, wide nose as a baby. Definitely not the nose he has now. Hopefully Cael's nose will change into his Daddy's nose as he gets older.

Double Digits!! And Pics To Boot!

So we're down to :::drum-roll, please::: 99 days! Until our due date! Amazing - it's going by so fast! And I'm doing my best to cherish and love each day. I was also scanned today by a co-worker. We were trying to see if he was in a good position or not..and it turns out he was! He hasn't been in a good position to get any good pictures the last time, so I was happy he was cooperating this time, even though it was for "fun". Here are some of the pictures we got today. I am so in love with this Little Man, there are no words.

Just Had To Share

Every single patient I scanned today mentioned my pregnancy in some way. Whether asking when I'm due, if this is my first, etc. I guess I'm really showing, and look pregnant and not just chunky. So I figured I'd take a whole-body picture today (especially since it's HDBD on The Bump), and see what the "situation" looks like. I love my belly so much!